Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Unnecessary Rudeness

"Holy cow- are you having twins???"
"Oh my, sweetie, your feet are so SWOLLEN!!!"
"You're only 7 months along...?"
"That's gonna be one big baby!"
"Oh it's just her hormones..."

What is it about pregnancy that allows people to completely forget their manners and any other social graces they may have been taught throughout their life?  I'm not sure if other pregnant ladies have found these comments complimenting, or if they've even experienced them.  Of course, the second that I protest or complain about any comment made regarding my appearance, my "attitude" is then chocked up to "hormones".  Really?  Ummmm, in case you failed to notice, I was a bit snarky before I was pregnant; Unless I'm trying to stab you in the eye with a spoon for sneezing in my direction or crying uncontrollably because you're wearing my favorite shade of purple, please don't blame my hormones- that's just a lame excuse.  If anything, I feel I've gained a better control over my temper (which has ALWAYS been on a short fuse) since being pregnant because nothing throws a pregnant lady into a hormonal rage quicker than wrongly accusing her hormones in the first place.  I've done my best to bite my tongue and not spew sarcastic/stabby/aggressive remarks in response to said comments, however I still have 2 more months to go.  I cannot be expected to behave much longer. 

And for the record, I'd like to put it out there that I have only gained 28 lbs so far throughout the pregnancy, which I understand is within the completely normal range.  Given this information, it makes me feel like that much more of a heiffer to have people constantly commenting about my weight.  Maybe I'm displaying it more prominently than the stardard pregnant lady, I don't know.  I have always been extremely self conscious about my weight though so additional commentary is really not necessary, nor is it welcome.

So am I alone in feeling that these comments are a little "over the line"?  When I've relayed the situation to a few friends, I've been brushed aside with "Oh it's no big deal," and "They didn't mean anything by it!".  Hmm.  Perhaps I am overreacting a bit.  (again- who, MEEEEE?)  From now on I will begin to respond with quirky responses and hopefully my retort will gain as much enjoyment as the original comment was intended to. 

Examples:
"Holy cow- are you having twins???" ------------------- "Nope.  It's a Volkswagon."

"Oh my, sweetie, your feet are so SWOLLEN!!!"------- "WOW, so are YOURS!  Must be the weather..."

"You're only 7 months along...?" ------------------------ "Yep!  Been rollin' around in fertilizer.  Goin'
for a Guiness Book record."

"That's gonna be one big baby!" ------------------------- "Baby?  I'm not pregnant..."

"Oh it's just her hormones..." ----------------------------- "Nah, I'm generally a bit of a b****."

Yeah, lets see what they think of my hormones now.... :)

Friday, October 1, 2010

Prologue

    Have you ever heard the phrase, "Life is what sneaks up on you while you're busy making other plans"?  Yeah well, I think that's a slight understatement in my opinion.  I feel it would be more accurately phrased as, "The 18 wheeler of life is what rear ends your Honda existence while you're waiting at the intersection of What To Wear Today and Should I Buy a New Toaster." 
    Cody and I were married September 19, 2009 after almost 2 years of dating.  Although both of us have always claimed we'd never get married, I think we both knew it was meant to be from the get go.  We wanted a small and simple wedding, which of course turned into a large and lavish wedding.  After all the stress and whirlwind of the event however, I wouldn't have changed a thing.
    We didn't get a chance to take a honeymoon right away since Cody was newly employed and I had recently taken a pay cut and was contemplating switching jobs.  We figured it would be wiser to wait until we had settled into our new life together and had worked out more of a game plan.  Ha!  We had no clue what we were in for...
    In January of 2010 I was offered a sales position at the Kent H. Landsberg Co., an opportunity that was just too good to pass up.  So after almost 10 years at the station, I turned in my keys and said my goodbyes.  I'll admit- it was very hard and beyond terrifying, but in hindsight it was one of the best decisions I've made.  So with all the new changes life had thrown our way- new marriage, new jobs, etc- I think we were handling everything pretty well.  Then, the curve ball.
    In early April, my best friend Ruth called me with the news that she and her husband were expecting their first child.  The news was quite a surprise as I knew that they weren't planning on having kids for at least a few years (they were married a month before Cody & I).  The news shook me up as I tried to put myself in their shoes; I recall telling Cody that it seemed so unreal to me that she was pregnant- I couldn't imagine what I'd do if it was me.  Famous last words, right?  About a month later I began feeling strange.  Not ill, just different.  I had convinced myself it was anything and everything but THAT.  Exhaustion from the promotion I'd just received at work, allergies to the new fields that had been recently planted behind our house, a new strain of dust in our area that just didn't agree with my system; No way was I... I couldn't even say it.  Finally it became too much to ignore.  I bought a test and on Sunday, May 2nd, our world was forever changed.
ME:  "Ummmmm, Cody?"  Shows test.
HIM:  "What's that?" Stares quizically at the stick.
ME:  "A plus sign..."
HIM:  "Meaning?"  Blank stare.
ME:  "I'm pretty sure 'plus' means 'plus'- as in 'plus one'; we're pregnant."
HIM:  "Are you sure that's how it works?"
ME:  "Really?  Would you like to review the instructions or accept the fact that we're gonna be PARENTS in about 9 months???"  Beginning to pace...
HIM:  "Huh.  Awesome!"
Since Cody was excited enough for the both of us, I took on the part of being nervous, freaked out, and overall terrified.  He said I was overreacting (who, MEEEE???) and that we'd be just fine, but I was unconvinced.  I have dogs which I keep limited to a cage while inside my house so that they don't destroy it, and if they get too out of hand I can lock them outside or give them away.  I have cats that are for the most part self sufficient and can go days without needing my assistance.  I have a husband that, well, okay so maybe he's been somewhat instrumental in preparing me for motherhood.  But still- I never really saw myself in that category reserved for mothers.
    Over the past few months I have slowly come to terms with the fact that we are going to have a baby, and more importantly, accepting that we are to be that baby's parents.  Wow.  I'm gonna be a mom.  Weird... We recently found out that our sea monkey (we preferred this nickname over referring to the baby as an 'it') will be a girl.  Great.  So not only has life thrown me it's best curve ball, karma is right behind it gearing up to kick my butt.  And THIS, my friends, would be that 18-wheeler to my Honda...